Dinner in Suburbia
by Hjalmar
Summary: Set between Season 5 and Season 6. The neighbors are coming for dinner, Dean is drunk.


**Thanks a ton to my great Beta, slaybelle69!**

**Any mistakes left are totally my own.**

**Also, Lady Greensleeves - thank you.**

-oOo-

"Oops... Guess we got guests," he says and stumbles a bit grinning, but it's a smile that doesn't reach the sadness in his eyes. He leans heavily against the nearest wall.

_Dinner._

_Guests (boring neighbors)._

_Ben at a friend's house._

_Depressed boyfriend._

_A kitchen sink full of dishes._

_And, it's raining._

Lisa is having an awesome day.

"Can I get you anything, Dean?" she asks, throwing a little smile at Jake and Nina.

Dean lurches forward, towards the cupboard and holds up his empty whiskey bottle, smiling broadly at the surprised neighbors seated at the table. "Just need a refill."

He stumbles again, but manages to get all the way across the room to the cupboard where they usually keep the liquor.

Lisa stands up and walks toward him, "Won't find any more in there Dean."

Dean looks up at her, confused.

She's right in front of him now and takes a hold of his arms to keep him from listing sideways and speaks softly to him.

"I moved it. And believe me – You won't find it."

She can see his eyes growing sadder. He leans forward, towards her, "Lis…"

"You're going to need it tomorrow, Dean."

"I need it now

The neighbors are watching the conversation silently from the table. She's happy that they're not interrupting. This is between her and Dean.

On the other hand, they might be in too much shock to do anything. To actually display this kind of thing in front of others – outrageous. Lisa almost rolls her eyes as she keeps talking to Dean.

"You know the deal. You can drink if you want; I'm not stopping you. But I'm not dragging your ass to the ER for alcohol poisoning, and you're not dying from it in my house either. It's all safe, waiting for you tomorrow." He knows she means it and even as drunk as he is, she knows he won't argue with her about this. She made it clear from day one – no dying in her home.

"C'mon" she says, "You haven't eaten anything today, I'll get you a plate". She disappears into the kitchen, leaving him standing there with the perplexed neighbors.

Coming back, she sees that they're still in the same position. She just smiles and leads Dean to a chair.

"So, Nina, you have to tell me how you managed to grow such big tomatoes"

-oOo-

The dinner party seems to have settled in nicely after Dean's entrance, and Lisa thinks that it is all going pretty well, at first. Dean's quiet, picking at his food and even taking a bite now and then, listens to their conversation. Lisa's happy that Dean's there since they were supposed to go through this boring dinner together. She should have cancelled, but Jake and Nina Cooper had already gotten a babysitter for the night. She also had been hoping that Dean would feel better by the end of the day. She should have known better. A bad morning means a bad day, or a bad week.

Then of course, Nina just can't leave Dean alone. But Lisa shouldn't complain, considering she's the one who almost forced Dean to stay.

"So, Dean... We've all been so curious about you since you moved in here," Nina says, staring at Dean who has settled for using his fork to play around with his food rather than using it to eat with.

Dean looks up at her, but it takes some time for his eyes to focus.

Clearing her throat nervously, she asks, "Maybe you can tell us something about yourself?"

Dean sits still, just staring at Nina. After a minute with no response from Dean, Nina glances nervously Jake who just lifts his eyebrows slightly.

Finally, Dean response with, "Not much to say, really."

"Oh, come on, there's gotta be something. You could start with where you come from," Nina presses.

Dean shrugs a little, "A little bit of everywhere, we… eehh… we moved around a lot."

"Oh, how exciting. Jake here moved around a lot too. His father was in the military."

Dean takes a small bite of his food and turns his head back down towards his plate, clearly not interested in keeping the conversation going.

To break the silence, Lisa brings up the subject of the annual vegetable market in town. However, that subject dies pretty quickly as well. Soon the uncomfortable silence is back.

Dean looks at the wine bottle on the table and gives Lisa an angry look. Then he goes back to picking at his food.

"So, you going to tell me what it is today?" she asks, not caring that the neighbors are now going to be privy to this conversation, just wishing he could share anything at all. Not that she can help, not really.

He's been fine the last few weeks. Well, fine as in actually spending time with them instead of just staying in bed drinking. This morning when she woke up she could tell they were back at the beginning, though, with Dean sitting up in bed next to her just staring at the wall, the smell of cheap whiskey on his breath.

He doesn't look at her, but his hand reach out and grab her wineglass, finishing off the last sip like a defiant three year old. He's clearly not in the mood to talk about it. She hates herself for it, but these are the times when she's angry at Sam. Angry at Sam for making Dean the way he is, even though it's probably not Sam's fault.

Jake and Nina are quietly observing. They probably want to be somewhere else, but good manners mixed with curiosity keeps them there. She knows that tomorrow, the whole neighborhood will know everything about how Lisa's mysterious boyfriend is a drunk. Not that the cares, not really.

She sighs. The silence at the table gets more awkward with each passing minute. Dean stares longingly at the now empty wineglass and Jake and Nina eat a bit faster than they did before.

"Well, I'm right here if you feel like talking," she says as she pours some more wine into the empty glass Dean has been turning in his hand. He looks up at her for a second, surprised, before drinking it.

"So, we've been thinking about having a garage sale," Lisa says in a new effort to break the silence. The Coopers immediately start telling her about a garage sale they had a few years ago.

Unfortunately that discussion somehow brings up the church a few blocks away.

"I haven't seen you two there," Nina says, giving Dean a disapproving look.

"Yeah… eeh… we don't really…" Lisa starts.

"That's okay," Nina says. "But, maybe you should consider it. It's a fine church, lots of lovely people."

Lisa can sense Dean tensing up.

"They also offer lots of help to those who need it." Jake says. He and Nina both look at Dean who's now concentrating deeply on his once again empty wine glass.

Dean looks up. "Talking about me?"

"What? No," Jake says nervously, glancing at his wife.

"Oh, that's fine," Dean says acidly. "But I can tell you right now, I am really not interested in any church help. No matter how depressed I might be."

"It's always good to talk to someone," Nina says. "And the church is a…"

Dean snorts.

"I don't think this is the best topic right now..." Lisa starts.

"No, no," says Dean as he straightens a bit in his chair. "It's okay. They are clearly wondering why I'm drunk right n

ow. And maybe we should just give them an answer."

By now, Lisa regrets making him stay. What had she been thinking? That they were going to have a nice dinner together?

"You know what I really want to do right now?" Dean goes on. "I would love to just take my gun, point it towards me and pull the trigger. And I promise you, no priest could ever change that."

"Alright, Dean," Lisa says in an effort to stop him from saying more.

"Not that dying will make it any better, really," he continues.

"See, now that's true," Lisa says, feeling a momentary sense of relief.

"Yeah, because heaven sucks."

She closes her eyes for a second. "Dean…"

"No, really. Just you, some dumb-ass memories, and those dicks who calls themselves angels. That's what you all got to look forward to. Unless, of course, you're going to Hell, and that's not a walk in the park either, believe me." He grins, turns sad unfocused eyes on Lisa. Then his smile falls entirely from his face, "At least Sammy's there."

And Lisa's heart breaks for him, like it has hundreds of times these past few weeks.

"God-" Nina starts.

"God doesn't care," Dean says simply.

"Sometimes it can feel like that, but-"

"What do you know about it?" Dean says raising his voice. "Have you ever met him?"

"Well, that's not-"

"I know he exists, unfortunately. I know way more than you do about all this." He leans back in his chair and laughs bitterly with no trace of humor. "I even looked for him for a while, but it turns out he didn't want to be found. He really just doesn't care. He just left his dick angels in charge of everything and left."

The Coopers are wearing identical, horrified expressions. Dean looks down at his hands.

"He didn't care about Sam", he says quietly. "No one did."

Lisa decides that it's time for her to put a stop to this, for Dean's sake.

"Alright, Dean, time for bed," she says, putting her hand on his shoulder.

He doesn't move.

"C'mon, let's get you upstairs instead." That gets her a nod.

"He didn't deserve it," Dean says as Lisa helps him stand up.

"I know Dean." Her voice breaks. "I know."

He leans hard against her as she slowly maneuvers them both towards the stairs.

-oOo-

When she comes down again, she hardly has time to sit down before the Coopers starts talking at the same time, one lie each.

"We got a call..."

"The babysitter..."

"Jake's got a terrible headache..."

She takes a sip from her glass to hide her laugh. Somehow she doesn't think Ben will get to babysit their precious little Tommy anymore; Ben's going to love Dean for this one.

As quickly as they can manage, the Coopers leave, and she gives them credit for not actually running down the path away from the house.

Dean is out cold, snoring drunkenly on top of the bedspread. Hopefully the nightmares will wait for a bit until they come.

She goes to the bed and squeezes in next to him, pulling a spare cover over them both. Tomorrow is a new day, and the day after that. One step at a time, that's all they really can do.

_end_


End file.
